I agree

Calichamp does suck balls, goin to lunch be back in a bit. who the hell left that post?

10/23

cali sucks at life

yoo paul

comment on this blog, i dont want to have a window open saying "who doesnt love dick" lmfao

Who doesn't love Dick? (IDs of the Week)

This weeks IDs of the week came early in the week. After last week's pitiful list, I decided to make this one a top 10, because theres so many to choose from.


10. FlatDrPepper - I'd rather have flat dr. pepper than a flat chick in bed.
9. KillerPot - Paging the creators of Superbad; your next movie should be "When Weed Attacks"
8. dupidstonk - Because everyone on stoker pars is a dupid stonk.
7. SeriousBacon - This guy wasn't messing around. His image was strips of bacon. Great name/image combo, sir.
6. HughJa$$ - Because everyone loves a hugh jass. I know I do.
5. NotherDonk - I say this at least 50 times a day playing on PS.
4. solid - What do I think about this ID? It's pretty solid.
3. FoldUrCrap - If only these poons did, maybe I'd win some money every now and then.
2. Mike Madusow - Gotta love the copycat poon who can't spell it right. Although I'm not sure I want to play online imitating a guy who once lost $1 million bucks in one day online.

And this week's top ID

1. DickCheney - When you're country is run by two guys named Bush and Dick, you know you're screwed. Hopefully if you got this far, you can understand that this blog's title is meant in a completely heterosexual way.

Hopefully next week's list is solid and not full of dupid stonks. Later poons.

Almost a 21-grand-aire.

I played one tourney today. It turned out to be my best cash ever.

I did the 21k poon Sunday 200k guaranteed. I started out playing like garbage, bluffing off half my stack, not getting value out of big hands. I said with about 13k people left that I just want to be out and that I'm in no mood to play anymore.

I managed to stay afloat after bouncing around for the first two hours, and then I somehow took off. I won so many big hands I can't even remember them. I was stalling right at the break with barely enough chips to play with. I had to shove 6700 with A4 offsuit utg with the blinds at 1500/3000. I rivered trips and tripled up. After that, I doubled up a bunch of times. Soon enough, I had the chips to make a run. Like I said, I don't remember the big hands. I just know I had AA a lot. One that sticks in my mind, I had 7s in early position and limped. a short stack of 9600 shoved with 2500/5000 blinds. the sb called it. I had about 48000 chips and I reraised him all in, putting him on garbage. He folded and I isolated against AK. I flopped trips (if only I called the all in instead of isolating) and held up. that set me up.

Long story short, I kept dominating with impressive all in after impressive all in. I didn't bluff at many pots. I only stole the blinds a few times. Most of my chips came from big all in hands. I wound up placing 76th for a 326 dollar cash. My previous high cash was only 96 bucks. That run brought the bankroll near 500, another all time high. THAT CLOSE to 21 grand. Maybe next week...

I have too much blogging to do so I'll just briefly go over todays POTD. He came to my 200k table with 57k in chips, which at the time was top 100 out of 8000. He was ousted in 10 minutes. The first hand, he shoved all in with a2 suited and lost to AK. He reraised all in after a min raise with A2 offsuit, raised 3x the bb preflop in early position with 9 10 offsuit, and wound up shoving his last 24K with A7 off. He lost again to AK, and today's poon of the day didn't even come close to cashing. If I had 57k in that tournament early on, I'd sit on it. I wouldn't donk it away. His name was fraundcamera. What a poon.

IDs of the week coming next, and believe me there are some beauties.

Sunday Poons < Pete and I

A successful Sunday. On Sunday, when you walk away from PS down a little or break even, it's a huge success. I managed to do OK, my br as of right now is up for the day. Pete on the other hand had his best cash of his career, but I won't spoil it for you guys. I was 2 for 6 in tournament play, with one to go. I had a solid run in the $5/15k but that was about it.

$1/1k Guarantee- I had to shove short stacked with 10 9 of hearts. I got called by KQ clubs and AJ. The flop was 5h 6h 7c. ANY 8,9,10 or heart for the win. I missed both cards, go figure.

$5/15k Guarantee- I had a solid run but lost a coinflip that would of put me in contention for a solid run. My AK lost to 99 leaving me with 20k, a win there puts me at 140k. I didn't last much longer. Finishing 85th of 4,257 for a cash of $31.93.

$1 FL 5-Card- Did I mention last segment that I hate 5-card?

$10/200k Guarantee- I got ousted right before the first break. I was all in with AK for a 7k pot vs QQ. I flopped top pair, yet I got rivered by the 2outer. It happens regularly.

$1 NLH 6 ET- I cashed, but not for sh*t. My QQ got flopped by QJ (8 9 10) finished 232nd out of 1937 for a cash of a whopping $1.93.

$2/4max- I got hu, which is where I normally dominate, but I was short stacked and had to get all in. My K9 lost to A7.

$4/180- To Be Determined.

Either way, regardless of the 180, my br went up today. I believe that is back to back Sunday's I've made money. Keep reading for Pete's Day and IDs of the week.

Winstar til tomorrow night so don't expect much from me until then.

By the Way

This will be my last Sunday to be playing any PS. I'm a NFL fan. I don't miss a down, so Sunday will be dedicated to football. Look forward to more Saturday tournaments, where I avoid the poons.

Saturday Suckouts vs. Me

Today will be interesting. Afternoon tournaments on the 2nd most poon day on PS.
I will be starting with:

$4/180- AK vs JJ..he flops a set..you will notice a trend here.

$3 NLH- QQ vs 99, a big pot, 99 flops a set.

$5/15k Guarantee- AK vs 10s, 10s turn a set.

$2 PLO H/L- I CASHED the crap shoot! 47th of 459 for $4.21.

NIGHT TIME TOURNAMENTS

$5 NLH- 157th of 1098, cash for $8.78.

$4 FL 5-Card - I vow to never do this donkathon again. Went 0-12 on flush draws.

$2/2500 Guarantee NLH- 475th of 2916, cashed for $2.91.

Nothing that impressive but 3 out of 7 tournaments isn't bad for a Saturday. No poon of the day today, but keep reading for tomorrow: IDS of the Week and our least-favorite day on PS, The Sunday Morons.

What a joke.

What did I do to ps today? I've lost 30 bucks today and it's not even 2pm. Here are my bs results so far. After I get ousted from this 2 buck 180 poon-off, I'm done for a while.

10c poon at 10AM - Who cares.
1 buck PLHE at 10:15 - I raise the bb w/ KQ. He calls. I flop top pair and bet. He calls, and the turn is a harmless looking 8. I bet again, he shoves and I call. He had k8. Offsuit. Poon.
3 buck razz - I screwed myself in this. Slowplayed a low when a guy had high cards and naturally he runners a better low. Then I wasn't paying attention and didn't raise the bring in. He called when I bet on 4th and of course won with a Q low.. All I needed to do was pull a card that didn't pair me. I paired.
2-7 Single Draw table - lost 11 bucks. Usually I clean those up. If I lose, I bounce back. Morons limping with 9 lows and standing pat. Idiots outdrawing me. Whatever
6 buck heads up - Faced an intellipoon. No chance. Calling station/preflop raiser/called all ins with any two cards. I got rivered with AJ vs his 79.
5 buck 9 player - Just got ousted. I took an early lead doubling with KK vs QQ. I blinded away, lost chips, and then I got all in with a small blind straight. The board was 10 10 9 J with two diamonds. I bet the flop and turn and got called. I had 8Q and the river was a 3 of diamonds. I bet hard and got reraised. I figured I was beat by a flush but I called anyway. Naturally, he had 10 3 suited. Friggin bs.

Just awaiting my poonage in this turbo junk. Great start to the day.

Result: Naturally, I got all in with top pair off the flop. A donkey calls 1/3 his stack with an up and down straight draw. Of course, PS turns it for him. Another hee-haw helper. I just can't beat idiots, and they're everywhere today. It must be Sunday.

Winstar...Broke Even?

A long day led to a no gain. I played at the cash tables for about 8 hours, and it was slow. I walked away up $175 on the nose (since I was incredibly card dead) I walked over to a Three Card Poker Table. This game involves no skill what so ever. You either win big or lose quickly. I would typically say avoid this game but It has been extremely kind to me in the past...not today. I sat there with my winnings from the poker room and lost it. A long day that turned out to be just for fun.

Anyway, Pete has a blogging issue, Doesn't like to blog whenever I leave early. But tonight is nothing special, just Two $4/180s and then most likely hitting the sack.

Keep reading to see my finishes.

$4/180- 18th, just eeked in the cash for $8.64.
$4/180- 40th, my AK ran into AA

Night poons

Poons > Limit Holdem (FT # 50)

It's incredible. I witnessed one of the biggest donk fests known to ps. In the $4 FL Holdem I got the privilege to see a moron re-raise with q3 and q9 preflop and dominate after being called down to the river. Those tournaments are equivalent to playing the lottery.

Today was a non-eventful day. Yea, I made my 50th Final Table, but it was a 9th place finish. A 2-7 tournament day and I went out in style.

$8 NLH- This tournament is starting to piss me off. Damn Donk-a-palooza

$4/180- 9th place for a cash of $12.24. My AA lost to J10. Go figure.

$2.5 NLH- 133rd of 4,014. Cashed for $13.05.

$1 FL Omaha- I take that back, this tournament is one of the biggest crap-shoots on the site.

$1 Stud H/L- After a 2nd place finish earlier in the week, I managed to fall 50 from the cash. My 236 suited got me all in and I ended up missing everything as usual.

$4 FL Holdem- No need to make me rant anymore about this, I already have enough stress in my life.

$4/180- This was the Cherry on top of a donk-filled evening. I was short stacked with about 700. Blinds were 25/50. I have q7 of hearts and call a minimum raise since 4 other players called. The flop was 8h 5h 2d. Table checked to the bluffer who bet out 150. I, being short stacked and on a flush draw, shoved hoping to get lucky, or what should of been all folds. The idiot insta-calls with AJ (Ace high) and like always, I miss. Any Q,7, or heart and I double up. When I have 15 outs I'm guaranteed a miss but when I'm up against a lower pp for the 2outer. I'm toast.

Winstar all day tomorrow kids. G'night poons.

Welcome To Chase's Patio--Reincarnation Style!!

Reincarnation, literally "to be made flesh again", is a doctrine or metaphysical belief that some essential part of a living being (in some variations only human beings) survives death to be reborn in a new body. This essential part is often referred to as the spirit or soul, the "higher" or "true" self, "divine spark", or "I". According to such beliefs, a new personality is developed during each life in the physical world, but some part of the self remains constant throughout the successive lives

Before we jump into the segment, let me update you from the last segment.

THE RACE RESULTS

Gold- How could you doubt me..c'mon now. I was in first the entire way.

Silver- My sister finished about 30-45 seconds behind me. I was all worked up for nothing.

The Poon Medal- My girlfriend sadly took this down, after talking smack to me all night long, she ended up walking the back half..it was a sad sight.

Now onto the segment. Everyone always wonders, "What is the correct religion or belief, if there even is one at all?" I, myself, am agnostic. I don't buy into the Christian non-sense (sorry if I made people pissed with that statement) but I dont buy it. As I sat on my patio chair relaxing, I thought to myself, you know what would be insane, as dumb as it may sound, if reincarnation was the answer. Think about it, your "spirit" would never die so in one life I would be me, the next life I would be something else. If that was the case, I would want to maintain my knowledge, so when I started my new life, I would have all the knowledge I had today..which would probably mean I would end up in a really good school, with a sh*t desk job, and a wife who all she does is nags. That sounds awful.... F*ck that. But on the flip-side. Think about all the assholes you have met throughout your life time, all those scumbags of the earth, they would come back through reincarnation as something awful.
Examples: George W. Bush would most likely come back as an anal bead for Elton John.The Founders of PokerStars would come back as the players on PokerStars, how do you like those 2 outers now? Bill Kaulitz, from that (sarcastic) awesome band of his would come back straight.

As I was deep in thought I realized I had a tournament to get back to. I wished for a split second I could be reincarnated to an awful poker player, so I might be able to have success on this donk site.

That will do it for Chase's Patio... I think that chair has a permanent ass impression...

Final Table #49 With More To Go

Today started out rough, but has picked up over my last two tournaments.

$5-15k Guarantee NLH- Didn't even last an hour.

$1 FL 5-card- Do I need to repeat myself ^^

$2-4max- After A strong first table win, my second table made me feel like I was in a freeroll. I got turned by trips after the moron called my preflop raise with j7 and then called my flop raise with low pair.

$4/180- FT # 49, I placed 6th for $36.00. The hand below helped me coast to the FT.

Seat 1: Mr_Grindo (7128 in chips)
Seat 3: lGotRivered (8287 in chips)
Seat 4: Johan30 (6012 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: Chalmo (28334 in chips)
Seat 6: spdypete8 (8244 in chips)
Seat 7: Streetnine2 (9441 in chips)
Seat 8: cinch50 (24479 in chips)
Mr_Grindo: posts the ante 50
lGotRivered: posts the ante 50
Johan30: posts the ante 50
Chalmo: posts the ante 50
spdypete8: posts the ante 50
Streetnine2: posts the ante 50
cinch50: posts the ante 50
spdypete8: posts small blind 200
Streetnine2: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [Ah Jd]
cinch50: folds
Mr_Grindo: folds
lGotRivered: raises 845 to 1245
Johan30: folds
Chalmo: calls 1245
spdypete8: folds
Streetnine2: folds
*** FLOP *** [8h 2h Kh]
lGotRivered: bets 1600
Chalmo: raises 3600 to 5200
lGotRivered: raises 1792 to 6992 and is all-in
Chalmo: folds
Uncalled bet (1792) returned to lGotRivered
lGotRivered collected 13840 from pot
lGotRivered: doesn't show hand
*** SUMMARY ***

I decided to gamble since that player was making loose raises all game long. I re-raised after her raise and for only 1700 more, she insta-folded. Have to love donks who commit themselves then fold when pot-odds are extremely in their favor.

$2-2k Guarantee NLH- Cashed. 83rd out of 1647 for $4.94

$4/180- Pete and I had a solid tourney outing. I had the best finish in 82nd. If that says anything. Two for Six isnt bad, with an FT. The BR went up today.

Night poons

Solid Tournament Day, Yet BR Goes Down.

$8 NLH- KQ vs AA, I was all in post flop after check raising with top two. Naturally, the board paired giving his AA the better 2pair.

$2.5 NLH- I did so good in this I don't even remember what ousted me in the first hour.

$1 NLH 6 pm ET- I bubbled this one by about 40 people from the cash. Naturally, I made my move and was a coinflip. I swear these coins are "heads" on both sides. Guess which one I represent?

$2 PLO H/L- This tournament, skill-wise, is equivalent to the 25c tournament. I cashed in 62nd of 500 for $3.20. That is almost a win in my book.

$1 NLH 7pm ET- I had another two-headed coinflip late with my AK vs 10s that cost me. I cashed in 75th out of 1706 people for $2.56

$15 NLH- Normally this is my most solid tournament. I have my biggest cash in my PS career from this tournament but I never got it going, but its better then playing for 3 hours and missing the cash by 30 or so. Must of sucked to get 135th. (just messin P)

$5 NLH- My best run of the day comes up short. I got 45th of 977 for $14.66. A standard river card to a tilting raiser cost me. He donks off half his stack and picks up AK after my raise. Naturally, I lose on the river. (hand below)

Seat 1: HallowRain (13052 in chips)
Seat 2: mbs317 (8419 in chips)
Seat 3: lordtorrac (5391 in chips)
Seat 4: HJCrush (10967 in chips)
Seat 5: GetBack2Tha$ (30834 in chips)
Seat 6: LEAPLAYA (34080 in chips)
Seat 7: timeouttommy (29917 in chips)
Seat 8: rcbastura (31008 in chips)
Seat 9: lGotRivered (20341 in chips)
HallowRain: posts the ante 100
mbs317: posts the ante 100
lordtorrac: posts the ante 100
HJCrush: posts the ante 100
GetBack2Tha$: posts the ante 100
LEAPLAYA: posts the ante 100
timeouttommy: posts the ante 100
rcbastura: posts the ante 100
lGotRivered: posts the ante 100
LEAPLAYA: posts small blind 500
timeouttommy: posts big blind 1000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [Ts Td]
GetBack2Tha$ said, "deep fry it"
rcbastura: folds
rcbastura said, "shhh'"
lGotRivered: raises 2250 to 3250
rcbastura said, "just b happy u sucked out"
HallowRain said, "werent saying that"
HallowRain said, "after the turn"
HallowRain said, "loser"
HallowRain: raises 9702 to 12952 and is all-in
mbs317 has timed out
mbs317: folds
mbs317 is sitting out
lordtorrac: folds
HJCrush: folds
GetBack2Tha$: folds
LEAPLAYA: folds
timeouttommy: folds
lGotRivered: calls 9702
*** FLOP *** [Qh 5h 5c]
GetBack2Tha$ said, "i apologize"
*** TURN *** [Qh 5h 5c] [7c]
*** RIVER *** [Qh 5h 5c 7c] [Kh]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
lGotRivered: shows [Ts Td] (two pair, Tens and Fives)
HallowRain: shows [Kc Ad] (two pair, Kings and Fives)
GetBack2Tha$ said, "i got excited"
HallowRain collected 28304 from pot
rcbastura said, "lol"
*** SUMMARY ***

Tomorrow will be an all day PS day for me. Pete is poonin out to go fish so I will be in poons den tomorrow, alone.

You know what PS's me off?

In the second edition of "You know what really PS's me off?" I tackle a new problem that has arisen on pokerstars...

PS slapping the green "guaranteed money" tag to every tournament really PS's me off. That stupid payout structure that the guaranteed tourneys have ruins good tourneys like the 11AM 1 buck and the 11pm two buck. It's just a stupid money scheme since PS has been losing players. Idiots see shiny green letters and think it means something. All it is is psychology coercing these poons into playing more tourneys. PS guarantees a dollar amount that easily gets passed with regular registrations, but yet somehow, as my research shows, idiots flock to tourneys when they have green letters.

Sunday is the highest traffic day on pokerstars. Here are the entry numbers for 5 of the recently guaranteed tourneys on Sunday, August 24th.

In the $2.50+.25, about 3000 people played. In Monday's guaranteed tourtney, 4275 people were in.
In the 6:15pm 5 buck 6 max, 924 players registered on Sunday. After guaranteed money was added, 1470 played on Monday.
2 buck at 8:15PM on Sunday: 990. Monday: 1674
2 buck 6 max at 9:15PM on Sunday: 763 Monday: 1782

Sink your teeth into that last one. The prize pool on Sunday was $1,526. After they say "$1,500 guaranteed," an extra THOUSAND IDIOTS register. The prize pool would have still been $1,500 but these clueless morons flood the tourney.

PS must be making a fortune in rake just from these higher guarantees alone. Like they don't have all the money in the world from the table rakes. It's a joke. You'd think the least they could do is improve the tournaments, not fill them with more jackasses. As if there weren't enough poons already playing on PS.

It boggles my mind that putting a label like guaranteed money on a game attracts so many morons. I wonder if PS would have gotten the same results if they used a different color. You tell me what's more appealing:

[$1,000 Guaranteed] or [$1,000 Guaranteed]

Only if the poons were colorblind....

Today's Results live

Figured instead of recapping my day, I'll just live blog all my tourneys and oustings. Here's the list of tourney's I'm doing so far:

3 buck NLHE at 12: Our POTD leading candidate just ousted me.
Result: I shoved my remaining 900 after two limp ins with JJ. 9 J offsuit makes a solid call for half his stack. Naturally, the flop is 7 8 10. Game over. You just cant beat morons.

5 buck holdem shootout sng out of 16: Won my first hu. I got pooned big time with KK. K4 called all in preflop, and naturally he runners a flush, leaving me with 600. I rallied though and won it.
Update: Won my second match. Was against another moron, and I made a solid read. I limped with JK offsuit and he checked the bb. I flopped top pair and turned trips. We both checked to the river and he bet out 120 (blinds 30/60). I made it 300, and he insta-min-raised to 480. I thought for a bit. Since there was no draw on board and I figured he didn't have my J kicker beat, I raised all in. He called with K5, and I took him down. Guaranteed 12 bucks with a chance at 36.
Next match in a few minutes.
Result: Lost my next match. The dude was a complete donkey. I got him all in preflop with QQ, and naturally he had AA. I hit the Q on the flop, but of course he re-two-outered me on the river. Just can't win. I was on tilt and got all in with 2s, and he calls with A5 and turned me. What else is new. Cashed for 12 bucks.

2 buck turbo 3k guaranteed at 140: Doubled up early vs the big blind. I raised his blind w/ KK, he reraised, I put him all in and he called with JJ. I held. Haven't had a hand since.
Result: Ousted via a 4 way all in. Dude raises 4x to 400. After 4 calls, I shoved w/ QQ in the big blind for 3600. 3 people called. It was my QQ vs another QQ, 99, and a moron who calls off half his stack with A7. What do you know, an A comes on the turn. Can't beat donkey bs.

6 buck 5 card turbo sng: I hit a 3 card boat and so did another player. My queens full owned his 9s full and I took a big time lead. I'm surrounded by idiots though, so I'll probably still bubble.
Result: Victory. I sat on that early chip lead until we got 3 handed. I caught a garbage run of cards but I took out the short stack and then dominated heads up. The guy was just too easy to beat. He'd play any pair, so I just waited for a good hand and owned him.

1 buck fixed 5 card at 230: Not doing much early. I'm up about 100. This tourney starts when the stakes go up though. The first half hour or so is all about taking chances and staying afloat.
Update: Typical bs. I get dealt trip Q's and a guy hits broadway. Big pot, too.
Result: Just got ousted. Don't even know where, but if you get ousted in the first hour, it blows. Another outdraw.

1.50 fixed holdem at 3: Bunch of idiots at my table. Thats expected in the beginning of a limit tourney.
Update: Just knocked the table idiot out. Moron kept reraising me with J high when I had pocket kings.
Update: Flopped a set with pocket 2s. Board was 2 8 6 K 10 with no flush draws so I had a raise-a-thon with this idiot. Of course, he had pocket kings. 7 9 suited took the main pot. Lost over half my stack.
Another Update: Idiots max-raised preflop before it was even my turn, and I had AK. I flopped top top and wound up splitting 3 pots with another guy. Back where I was before that 22 bs. At break with 3429 in chips.
Made the cash: I have just under 15k in chips. Looking to make a deep run, since the payouts blow for just cashing.
In position: to make a nice run. I raped a dude with JK offsuit when I flopped top two and rivered a boat. He kept betting his bottom pair like a tool. Have just about 30k in that.
Break 3: Just under 22k. Took a few hits. 17th of 33
Ousted: Typical PS. I get AA in the bb and reraise. After the flop is 8 10 Q, I get myself all in. Of course, I lose to pocket 10s. Cashed for a depressing $3.79. Still kicking in the 8.

8 buck nlhe at 4 w/ Chase: AQ first hand, and took a nice pot to start things off.
Update: Chase got ousted by typical ps bs. I'm looking good with 2755 in chips.
At break: My stacks going in reverse. I had 3600 but I'm down to 2380. 144 Cash
Double up: Shoved with AQ and the bb called with jacks. I flopped two pair and held. at 3500 now. 150 from cash.
At break 2: With 5650 in chips. Just a few away from the cash. Looks like I'll be doing the 15 buck tonight at 10pm.
Cashed: Now to get some chips and take down that 1500 bucks.
....Yea, right.
Ousted: Went all in with pocket 8s from the big blind. The button raised w/ A9 and flopped a 9. Nothing I could do. Made 16 bucks.

15 buck at 10pm w/ chase: He got pooned out of the tourney in the first hour (seems to be a pattern, eh?) Meanwhile, I doubled off a hump who called my all in with a gutshot. Miraculously, I held. I was card dead the rest of the way though. I got all in with pocket 10s from the small blind after a guy with 3000 raised to 750 (125/250 blinds). He called with 8s. The only question was if the 8 was coming on the flop, turn, or river. Of course, it came on the turn and I missed the draw it gave me, so I finished 35 from the cash. Stupid ps.

I'm done for the day.

Another Day--Another Ft

My day was pretty weak leading up to my last tournament. On the day I went 3-10 in tournaments and got my 48th final table, notching my 10th second place finish. I was 2nd out of 344 in the $1 stud h/l tournament, cashing for $51.43. But beside that, all was poor. I cashed the $5 tournament for $9.06 and barely cashed the $1 tournament for my buy-in and some change.

The BR went up though thanks to that deep run. When you make money on a Sunday it's always good, those poons are rough.

Classes start back up tomorrow for me so any early morning tourneyage on Monday/Wednesday/Friday is unlikely (I'm very prone to skip) So keep reading for my afternoon tournaments tomorrow.

G'night poons

The "Best" IDs of the week...

This week was weak as far as IDs go. Very weak. I'll try to make the best of it though. Don't hate me.

Checking in as the #5 ID of the week: JustBlazed - With nearly 6 grand in earnings, this proves that marijuana in fact does NOT hinder poker ability.

#4: OMGiFARTED - This one makes the list since there wasn't much better. And, well, I just ate taco bell.

#3: dopeystars - How true it is. Dopey isn't the best choice of words, but anytime somebody takes a shot at PS, they belong on my list.

#2: SmokeDaTree - Keeping with the theme, this is further proof that PS is a bunch of pot smoking idiots with their heads up their farting a$$es. Also came across the ID "DaTree" this week. No relation, I hope.

And your top ID of the week, with help from his image:

#1: vbadplayer

What's so great about this? vbadplayer just happened to be an intellipoker player. We know intellipoons are the worst, but his name and image combo earn him top honors in this week's IDs of the Week.

Honorable mention goes to "uoweme2bucks." I don't owe you jack, but nice originality.

Better IDs next week, I promise. I already have a bunch of the list that are 10 times better than this week's garbage. If you have a quality ID, make yourself known.

What a sucky day.

1-5 in tournaments today. The only cash I had was in the 20FPP WCOOP satellite. 198 got paid, and I got 197th. Not exactly the best of runs.

I got nowhere in the stud h/l, got screwed in the 5 buck, followed up my 4 buck 5 card final table with a garbage finish somewhere in the 120s, and bubbled my league game. Garbage.

I'm going to do some tables and sng's to get my wasted money back. IDs next...

Our POTD is too rich for our blood.

In the Summer Games 08 limit holdem freeroll today, I had a moron named "TeddyKGBtx" at my table. He took a bad beat from a guy named shadgut who made a solid call, and then went on a rant.

TeddyKGBtx said, "thats why i hate these bunch of idiots with n bankroll"
TeddyKGBtx said, "your a suerstar shad"
TeddyKGBtx said, "get a bankroll shad then talk to me"
TeddyKGBtx said, "im looking at your stats they blow"
TeddyKGBtx said, "u ight have a br but theres not profit"

I was card dead so I figured I'd db these freeroll idiots. The results were fascinating.

Shad had a respectable 575 dollars in tourney earnings. Not sure what TeddyKGPoon was looking at. So I pulled up his stats. He had 4 digit earnings, only there was a decimal in the middle. Thats right, this hump was going on about shad's stats when he only had 10 bucks earned. What a sad schmuck.

After I pointed out thqat his stats took it in the rear, he went on and said he earned over 350 grand. Okay pal. Richie Rich over here some how has $350k when he's made $10.63 in tourney earnings. POON

Final Table #11

Went deep in the 4 buck fixed 5 card tonight. I caught a crappy run of cards at the final table, and idiots kept doubling the short stacks up. I shoulda got top 3, but I finished 4th and got paid 49 bucks for my efforts.

My finalk hand, i was in the bb, which was 6k. I had 14k going in, and got to see the draw. I had A high so I dropped 4 and pulled aces. I shoved after the draw, and naturally, the opponent pulled trip kings. What else is new.

Tomorrow night, me and Chase are likely going to do the 15 buck at 10PM, my biggest tourney to date. I'll probably do a "What PS's me off" segment sometime, as well as IDs of the week. Check back.

$4/180's

Pete and I will be taking part in the same $4/180. Not much playing today since we both had plans all day. Tomorrow I will be at Winstar most of the day so don't look for much action out of me until Sunday, where we face the idiots of PS. Stay tuned for updates.

I lost in the first one to a lower two card flush

In the second one I was short stacked and had to shove K10 suited (I hate that hand)

Kc 10c vs Qs Ts

flop: Ac 5c 5s

turn:Qh

riv: not a club or king

Another solid 2 outer. Night poons

Win # 8-- Final Table #46

ABOUT TIME. This is posted out of position, the hands for the $4/180 victory are posted further below. I was so excited after winning I just flicked off the screen and closed it. The heads up vs autospepe lasted about an hour. I was up 148k to 124k and got pocket 10s in the bb. He was donk raising all heads up and I was just waiting patiently to trap him the entire time. I got my 10s, he raised to 32k (blinds only 2000/4000) I re-raised to 100k and he shoved...K7 off suit.

flop: A44
turn:3
river:2

VICTORY

Tonights tournaments started off the same as usual.

$1 NLH- My AQ lost to Q10
$5 NLH- AA vs KQ preflop. KQ flops trips
$4 FL 5-card- 18th of 150, cashed for $10.50
$4/180- 1st out of 180, cashed for $216
This below was a hand that helped me coast my way to the FT

Seat 1: shc2lane (18220 in chips)
Seat 3: SFSlim (11516 in chips)
Seat 4: lGotRivered (9660 in chips)
Seat 5: TWO OF FARTS (6136 in chips)
Seat 6: trudieLou (6310 in chips)
Seat 7: JG1111 (9750 in chips)
Seat 8: hotoffdeice (10622 in chips)
Seat 9: Liljoe34 (12280 in chips)
shc2lane: posts the ante 25
SFSlim: posts the ante 25
lGotRivered: posts the ante 25
TWO OF FARTS: posts the ante 25
trudieLou: posts the ante 25
JG1111: posts the ante 25
hotoffdeice: posts the ante 25
Liljoe34: posts the ante 25
Liljoe34: posts small blind 125
shc2lane: posts big blind 250
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [As Ah]
SFSlim: folds
lGotRivered: raises 749 to 999
TWO OF FARTS: folds
trudieLou: raises 2501 to 3500
JG1111: folds
hotoffdeice: raises 7097 to 10597 and is all-in
Liljoe34: folds
shc2lane: folds
lGotRivered: calls 8636 and is all-in
trudieLou: calls 2785 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (962) returned to hotoffdeice
*** FLOP *** [7d 5c 9h]
*** TURN *** [7d 5c 9h] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [7d 5c 9h 4s] [Ad]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
lGotRivered: shows [As Ah] (three of a kind, Aces)
hotoffdeice: shows [Kd Td] (high card Ace)
lGotRivered collected 6700 from side pot
trudieLou: shows [Ks Kh] (a pair of Kings)
lGotRivered collected 19430 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***

I'm honestly shocked that K10 suited didnt suck out. Nevertheless, I'm in good shape and need a win. Stay tuned.

Seat 1: lGotRivered (37626 in chips)
Seat 4: autospepe (76106 in chips)
Seat 7: SFSlim (79590 in chips)
Seat 9: 50Cent.uy (76678 in chips)
lGotRivered: posts the ante 200
autospepe: posts the ante 200
SFSlim: posts the ante 200
50Cent.uy: posts the ante 200
autospepe: posts small blind 1000
SFSlim: posts big blind 2000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [Js Ah]
50Cent.uy: raises 3500 to 5500
lGotRivered: calls 5500
autospepe: folds
SFSlim: raises 73890 to 79390 and is all-in
50Cent.uy: folds
lGotRivered: calls 31926 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (41964) returned to SFSlim
*** FLOP *** [3c Jh Jc]
*** TURN *** [3c Jh Jc] [Jd]
*** RIVER *** [3c Jh Jc Jd] [6d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SFSlim: shows [8h 8d] (a full house, Jacks full of Eights)
lGotRivered: shows [Js Ah] (four of a kind, Jacks)
lGotRivered collected 82152 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***

I shoved here with 4 left because SFSlim has been raising huge all final table with any pair. I figured I was at worst a coinflip and it paid off. Dominated.

Slim just took a nice chunk from auto. We are all pretty much even, I have a slight lead and hope to seal the deal and get that 8th win.

As you know from the out of post-position blog I won the tournament for my 8th win. It is about time I went a tournament without getting rivered or two-outered.

w00t, night poons

POTD: Shaun Jackson

One of The 2 Outer's good friends and biggest poons earns top honors for today. At a home game today, I raised with 9J suited in mid position. Our buddy Shaun calls with in the big blind. The flop came 9 J 3 with two hearts. I had spades. He checked. With one other player in the hand, I bet 75c (blinds were .05/.10 at this point). Shaun calls after a few seconds, and the other player folded. The turn was the Kd. He checked again, methodically, and came off weak. I bet $1.25, and he called again. The river was a 10. I obviously thought my two pair was solid. There's no way i put him on any sort of Q, unless it was 10Q. The way he was acting though, I knew he didnt turn the nuts. So out of nowhere, he bets 2.50. He usually calls down and puts a big river bet in on a bluff, so knowing this I instacalled. What does the poon flip? Q4 offsuit.

He called the flop with Q high and no draw, called the turn with a gutshot, and the lucky son of a female dog hits the prayer. I love giving money to idiots. He tried defending it of course, saying "he called with the intention of bluffing me." IF I RAISE PREFLOP AND BET THE ENTIRE WAY, DO YOU THINK IM FOLDING?

I wound up finishing up 5 bucks for the day. Got as high as 36 bucks, and went no lower than 16. Last home game for a while, so it was fun.

I won't be on much tomorrow. Enjoy the poonage.

Winstar > PS

Sorry everyone for the lack of posting during my Winstar craze this week. I've made a little over $600 dollars this week so all is good. I guess it must be a sin for Pete not to post if I don't play so I'm sorry for that. But today there will be tournament action. I'm starting off with:

$1 FL Omaha- What can I say, A standard out of the money finish in the $1 Omaha Donk off
$2.5 NLH- Big Nosed after the first 15 minutes. QQ vs AK (Still Can't win a flip)
$4/180- Turned by a gutshot

Seat 1: Pimmok77 (1759 in chips)
Seat 2: GaryHanson (7899 in chips)
Seat 3: TheLabman (575 in chips)
Seat 4: sino0506 (1870 in chips)
Seat 5: lGotRivered (981 in chips)
Seat 6: mikeschmolz (5525 in chips)
Seat 7: ENYAP (1445 in chips)
Seat 8: LAUKACHA (585 in chips)
Seat 9: clanc15 (2400 in chips)
Pimmok77: posts small blind 50
GaryHanson: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [7c Ac]
TheLabman: folds
sino0506: folds
lGotRivered: raises 881 to 981 and is all-in
mikeschmolz: folds
ENYAP: folds
LAUKACHA: folds
clanc15: folds
Pimmok77: folds
GaryHanson: calls 881
*** FLOP *** [4s Ah Qh]
*** TURN *** [4s Ah Qh] [Kd]
*** RIVER *** [4s Ah Qh Kd] [8h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
GaryHanson: shows [Js Ts] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
lGotRivered: shows [7c Ac] (a pair of Aces)
GaryHanson collected 2012 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***

Typical.

Keep reading for tonights tournament schedule and my favorite... Chase's Patio, tonight's segment: Unsure, I don't know what will be on my mind..Stay tuned.

Just Like School- I Skipped A Day of PS

I have not been playing much as of late. On Monday I was at Winstar, where I made $329 dollars and today I had plans;however, I am doing some tournaments tonight.

$1 Stud h/l- Rivered by runner runner for a boat
$4/180- A10 loses to QJ
$5 NLH- Coinflipped
$4 FL 5-card- Got sh*t on 3 straight hands went from big stack to bubble.
$3 Turbo PoonOut- Got 4th at my table. Dont remember how I lost, I'll assume it was just another poonout.
$2 NLH- cashed, 183rd

Seat 1: Trench 4 (4185 in chips)
Seat 2: chipcount021 (17448 in chips)
Seat 3: cmak06 (8893 in chips)
Seat 4: NutsChamp (6705 in chips)
Seat 5: zagreb99 (4650 in chips)
Seat 6: ISFReddevil (13220 in chips)
Seat 7: lGotRivered (8950 in chips)
Seat 8: Dragstar 1 (11464 in chips)
Seat 9: onedaythe1 (3508 in chips)
Trench 4: posts the ante 50
chipcount021: posts the ante 50
cmak06: posts the ante 50
NutsChamp: posts the ante 50
zagreb99: posts the ante 50
ISFReddevil: posts the ante 50
lGotRivered: posts the ante 50
Dragstar 1: posts the ante 50
onedaythe1: posts the ante 50
NutsChamp: posts small blind 200
zagreb99: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [6d 6h]
ISFReddevil: folds
lGotRivered: calls 400
Dragstar 1: raises 1600 to 2000
onedaythe1: folds
Trench 4: folds
chipcount021: folds
cmak06: folds
NutsChamp: folds
zagreb99: folds
lGotRivered: raises 6900 to 8900 and is all-in
Dragstar 1: calls 6900
*** FLOP *** [7h 3s Td]
*** TURN *** [7h 3s Td] [4d]
*** RIVER *** [7h 3s Td 4d] [8h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
lGotRivered: shows [6d 6h] (a pair of Sixes)
Dragstar 1: shows [4c 4s] (three of a kind, Fours)
Dragstar 1 collected 18850 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 18850 | Rake 0
Board [7h 3s Td 4d 8h]
Seat 1: Trench 4 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: chipcount021 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: cmak06 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: NutsChamp (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: zagreb99 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: ISFReddevil folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: lGotRivered showed [6d 6h] and lost with a pair of Sixes
Seat 8: Dragstar 1 showed [4c 4s] and won (18850) with three of a kind, Fours
Seat 9: onedaythe1 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

I shoved because this idiot was raising with hands like a6 under the gun so I figured I was a coinflip at WORST. Yet again I get 2Outered- Can't win on this "legit" site.

Another weak tournament day. I might go 1-6 but im looking at a potential bubble in the $2 buck.

Winstar tomorrow so don't expect to see much of me playing.

Minor tourney rut.

I bubbled the 4 buck 5 card last night, didn't do jack in the 2 buck, and woke up this morning for some tourneys. I barely cashed the 1 buck PLHE, didn't cash but didn't care about the 10c poon-off, didn't make it through the hour in the 1 buck, got pooned out of the 2 buck turbo with KA vs QA, and just got ousted of the 1 buck 5 card with this poonography:


PokerStars Game #19741418543: Tournament #102281472, $1.00+$0.10 5 Card Draw Limit - Level VIII (400/800) - 2008/08/19 - 16:07:30 (ET)Table '102281472 36' 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Rastafari3 (9640 in chips)
Seat 2: zenosox (1830 in chips)
Seat 3: ysraitemps (6420 in chips)
Seat 4: Rosentau C (585 in chips)
Seat 5: wacdiamond (6860 in chips)
Seat 6: _the_panic_ (2170 in chips)
_the_panic_: posts small blind 200
Rastafari3: posts big blind 400
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Jh Qc 9c 4c Tc]
zenosox: folds
ysraitemps: folds
Rosentau C: folds
wacdiamond: folds
_the_panic_: calls 200
Rastafari3: checks
_the_panic_: discards 1 card [Jh]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Qc 9c 4c Tc] [2c]
Rastafari3: discards 3 cards
_the_panic_: bets 800
Rastafari3: raises 800 to 1600
_the_panic_: raises 170 to 1770 and is all-in
Rastafari3: calls 170
*** SHOW DOWN ***
_the_panic_: shows [2c Qc 9c 4c Tc] (a flush, Queen high)
Rastafari3: shows [5d 5s Jd 5h 5c] (four of a kind, Fives)
_the_panic_ said, "unreal"
Rastafari3 collected 4340 from pot

What else is new.

After a hot tourney run where I cashed 5 in a row and 7 of 8, I'm 1 for my last 7. I'm owning these new 2-7 single draw tables though. I've sat about 3 times and walked away with a combined 15 bucks. Not bad. Can't wait until they finish developing that so I can own the sit-n-go's too.

IDs of the Week.

This week, I saw a bunch of names that were solid enough to jot down. Nevertheless, here are your top 5 IDs of the week.

5. imhighallday - If that's the case, you fit right in with all the other morons on PokerStars.

4. HighOffYour$ - Jeez, no wonder why America is so screwed up. Everyone seems to be high. (PS, I ousted this guy from the 2 buck, so he wasn't getting lit on my $)

3. crabz - If you see this guy at a cash table, wear protection. Chances are he's sitting alone. Nobody likes crabz.

2. 2OutsNoProb - Yeah, this seems to be the general attitude on PokerStars.

And your top ID of the week.

1. JORGE - Come on, nothing screams Mexican more than a Mexican name in uppercase letters. Hip Hip, JORGE!

Honorable mention goes to:

BitingExWife - I'm sure most people want to bite their current wives too.
-and-
I NEED AAAA - Don't we all. Since nothing else wins on PS.

Enjoy.

Weekend Wrap-up

I made another deep run in the 2 buck at 11PM last night for the 3rd straight night, so I was too tired to post. I finished 16th. Two flopped flushes with 10A suited set up the deep run, but in the end I just blinded out and my QK lost to A9. Played real solid.

Today, I did the Sunday 200K for the second time, and wound up cashing it. I started out good, but after misplaying one hand I was blinding away and just managed to cash. At least I profited 10 bucks.

After getting pooned out of the 2.50+.25 at 5 pm, I made another deep run in the 6PM 1 buck, placing 31st. My last tourney of the night was the 5 buck, and I barely cashed that as well. I wound up placing 8th in my 4 king poker league game, so I went 4 for 5 today, but nothing special. I played relatively well, just got garbage cards all day.

IDs of the week are next, and there are some quality ones, believe me.

The Sunday Morons

Another Sunday. Another bunch of morons. I swear these idiots travel in packs, I love seeing idiots who know each other commenting on the game or say NH/Good play after a solid suckout. Anyway, I'm starting today out with the....

$5-15k Guarantee Missed cash by 200 people. My AJ loses to the dominate A10.
$4/180- Finished 44th, My 55 vs 66-I don't hit 2Outers.
$1 FL 5card- Cashed got 29th out of 390 people for a whopping $2.34.
$11 (200k Guaranteed)- AK vs 10s-Coinflipped out before the cash.
$2.5 NLH- My flopped two pair gets rivered by a gutshot straight.
$1 NLH- 2Outered Again
$4/180- 43rd, AQ vs KK
$2 (4max) NLH- Got my 45th Final Table finishing 5th for $36.18
$5 NLH- Ousted 16 from the cash, I always seem to bubble that tournament
$2 NLH- Sad, less then 50 from the cash my 10s get turned by kq. I think I should of made the ID IDontWinFlips. Since my downward toward br brokeness, I'm about 8-188 in coinflips.

A not so solid day for Sunday, but even I could of seen it coming. Playing poker on PS on a Sunday and trying to win...is like the chances of Steven Hawking trying to win the 200 Meter race vs Michael Phelps..Just not very likely.

Keep Reading for Pete's Ids of the week and my finish in the $2 NLH

Today's POTD humps the bet button.

This is true. He was caught having statutory intercourse with the min raise. Today's poon was seated to my right in the 4 buck fixed 5 card. Normally, I don't really give much thought to the standard poon that raises with crap and makes stupid calls. It's those morons that talk back to you that catch my attention.

Enter bbrunick. He was humping the raise button right from the first hand. He'd raise flush draws, re-raise with two pair, and limp-reraise sets. He'd bet out regardless of his hand and what everyone else did. Below is just a minor example of the donkism and donation this poon bestowed upon me early on. He didn't last long.

PokerStars Game #19648453736: Tournament #100868306, $4.00+$0.40 5 Card Draw Limit - Level III (50/100) - 2008/08/15 - 22:05:11 (ET)Table '100868306 20' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: aragorn1941 (890 in chips)
Seat 2: bbrunick (2145 in chips)
Seat 3: _the_panic_ (1510 in chips)
Seat 4: noddy72 (2070 in chips)
Seat 5: dc da cutter (2220 in chips)
Seat 6: gizmit (165 in chips)
aragorn1941: posts small blind 25
bbrunick: posts big blind 50
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Jh 6s Th Tc 6d]
_the_panic_: raises 50 to 100
noddy72: folds
dc da cutter: folds
gizmit: folds
aragorn1941: folds
bbrunick: calls 50
bbrunick: discards 2 cards
_the_panic_: discards 1 card [Jh]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6s Th Tc 6d] [As]
bbrunick: bets 100
_the_panic_: calls 100
*** SHOW DOWN ***
bbrunick: shows [Qh Td 9h 7s 4h] (high card Queen)
_the_panic_: shows [As 6s Th Tc 6d] (two pair, Tens and Sixes)
_the_panic_ collected 425 from pot

Obviously, going for the 2 card boat after a raise is a good strategic move. And, who said you had to hit it to bet it? Lucky for me, I knew he was a poon, so this was an easy insta-call.

Read the verbal game that ensued:

bbrunick: just not hittin like i was in the first part of the game
_the_panic_: you expect to hit a two card flush everytime?

Obvious moron. After a bit more jabbing, he threw this one out there.

bbrunick said, "look at my chipstack bro"

He had about 200 chips on me at the time. I found his stats more impressive than his stack:

He has 172 dollars in career earnings in 327 tourneys. Is that even doable? He sports a rock solid cash rate of 5.2 PERCENT, with only 17 cashes and 3 final tables. Why waste your time if you suck that bad?

Maybe a raise-button-vasectomy will improve his stats.

So Close To Win #8

Tournaments tonight

$15 NLH- coinflipped by a two headed coin
$3 shootout- 4th at my table. AK lost to 87 suited
$2 NLH- 88 vs aq-my 8s got rocked
$4/180- Got my 45th FT and finished 4th

It was a long haul in the 4/180. I was never big stacked the entire tournament. I find myself struggling toward the middle-end of the pack but kept grinding it out. The big moment for me was when my AA vs KQ held with 11 left. Putting me easily at the final table. I didn't get shalomed this time. I was short stack and had A9 otb, the table chipleader and loose raiser raised half my stack. He doubled me up earlier with KJ vs his Q9. So I had to go for it and ran into AJ. This cash was a confidence booster.

I went 2-7 in tournaments today. Not much playing tomorrow until tomorrow night. I'm railing Pete's $2 NLH tournament as we speak. He is making his 2nd big run in back to back $2 tournaments.

G'night poons

Setting it up.

I cashed the 3 buck triple shootout for the first time tonight. Dominated my first table, but didn't get anything going in round two. Obviously, my ousting came via poonage. 10J offsuit limps utg. I shove 700 with 10K suited from the big blind, figuring I could steal the pot. This genius made the call and naturally the turn was a J.

I'm on life support in the 11PM two buck that I got 40th in last night. Don't expect much there.

Also, I'm back on track in the 5 card category. As of now, I've made the cash and am 6th of 19 left. Here's the hand that set up a potential final table run:


PokerStars Game #19650409852: Tournament #100868306, $4.00+$0.40 5 Card Draw Limit - Level XI (1200/2400) - 2008/08/15 - 23:42:35 (ET)Table '100868306 26' 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: BAssER07 (10460 in chips)
Seat 2: _the_panic_ (6830 in chips)
Seat 3: KathyE49 (13535 in chips)
Seat 4: slotgrandma (4785 in chips)
Seat 5: Tom Bayes (6255 in chips)
Seat 6: dc da cutter (13625 in chips)
Tom Bayes: posts small blind 600
dc da cutter: posts big blind 1200
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Jh Js 4s 4c Jc]
BAssER07: calls 1200
_the_panic_: raises 1200 to 2400
KathyE49: folds
slotgrandma: folds
Tom Bayes: raises 1200 to 3600
dc da cutter: calls 2400
BAssER07: folds
_the_panic_: raises 1200 to 4800
Betting is capped
Tom Bayes: calls 1200
dc da cutter: calls 1200
Tom Bayes: stands pat
dc da cutter: discards 1 card
_the_panic_: stands pat on [Jh Js 4s 4c Jc]
Tom Bayes: bets 1455 and is all-in
dc da cutter: folds
_the_panic_: calls 1455
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Tom Bayes: shows [Kd 4d 5d Qd 8d] (a flush, King high)
_the_panic_: shows [Jh Js 4s 4c Jc] (a full house, Jacks full of Fours)
_the_panic_ collected 18510 from pot

Time for final table #11. I hate the number 11. Updates to come.


Update: Typical. I bubbled the top 12, which was my goal. Just blinded away with garbage hands. Still in this two buck for some reason. The blinds are 75/150 and I have 1k left. Just delaying the inevitable.

Winstar-Not Much Playing Yesterday

As from the title, you should be able to tell where I was all day yesterday. I made $307 dollars at the tables, sat with $200 and never went below what I started with. The segment and race results will be posted on tuesday. Today I will be doing a few afternoon tournaments. Tonight I have plans so I wont be playing until later. Saturday I will be busy all day. So don't expect much out of me until Sunday.

$3 NLH- made wrong read/partially. I flopped low pair and short stack, a dude bet out a bet just a little over the original raise pre-flop with a board of 10 7 3. I re-raised all in thinking he didnt want to be committed with two highcards. He snap calls with 8s and I dont get lucky
$4/180-Lost coinflip AK vs 99
$5/15k guarantee-made bad play, but i cashed for $11 dollars

Catching up...

Been too pissed off to post. I blew away 90 bucks in the last 3 days at the stud tables. I was planning on shooting for silver star status this month, but not if I'm going to have to forfeit my BR to do so. I was missing so many low and flush draws, getting rivered and getting pooned.

Today I kind of took a break. I played 2 6 handed sng's earlier and had no luck. I did the 11PM 2 buck holdem, and I'm still in. Let me tell you, this has been one entertaining tournament. From arguments to suckouts, to laughing at idiots. I'll post my finish later, but this post is one of the main reasons why me and Chase need a blog to vent.

PokerStars Game #19628875821: Tournament #100868175, $2.00+$0.20 Hold'em No Limit - Level XIII (600/1200) - 2008/08/15 - 02:31:07 (ET)Table '100868175 94' 9-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: lee337337 (2132 in chips)
Seat 2: _the_panic_ (25274 in chips)
Seat 3: JohnnyPoker8 (62225 in chips)
Seat 4: Honeybee33 (32271 in chips)
Seat 5: DiamondDena (12893 in chips)
Seat 6: kccowboy19 (23618 in chips)
Seat 7: Attacker03 (21460 in chips)
Seat 9: Borg2Man (26800 in chips)
lee337337: posts the ante 125
_the_panic_: posts the ante 125
JohnnyPoker8: posts the ante 125
Honeybee33: posts the ante 125
DiamondDena: posts the ante 125
kccowboy19: posts the ante 125
Attacker03: posts the ante 125
Borg2Man: posts the ante 125
kccowboy19: posts small blind 600
Attacker03: posts big blind 1200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Ah Ad]
Borg2Man: folds
lee337337: folds
_the_panic_: raises 2250 to 3450
JohnnyPoker8: folds
Honeybee33: folds
DiamondDena: folds
kccowboy19: folds
Attacker03: calls 2250
*** FLOP *** [9s 7d Kc]
Attacker03: bets 3600
_the_panic_: raises 7200 to 10800
Attacker03: raises 7085 to 17885 and is all-in
_the_panic_: calls 7085
_the_panic_ said, "of course"
*** TURN *** [9s 7d Kc] [Kh]
*** RIVER *** [9s 7d Kc Kh] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Attacker03: shows [Kd 9d] (a full house, Kings full of Nines)
_the_panic_: shows [Ah Ad] (two pair, Aces and Kings)
lee337337 said, "ouch"
Attacker03 collected 44270 from pot

Why do aces never hold? Twice today, I lost with pocket aces to a complete moron who flops two pair. Luckily, I tripled up the next hand with 10A after runnering the nut flush. I took another pot and I'm more or less back where I started. Still, I'm in need of some chips before the blinds kill me. I'll update in a bit.


UPDATE: I got pooned out in 40th. Per Pokerstars policy, my top top got rivered by a straight draw, who also had top pair. I shoved the flop first to act, had about 11k left. I had A8 and the flop was 5 7 8. 86 made the call, and naturally the river 9 ousted me. What can I do. PS doesn't let me win.

No real poon of the day candidates on my end... I'll have something up tomorrow I'm sure. Going to play some morning tourneys, so those idiot Europeans will give me material.

Did I ever tell you "Bubble" Is my middle name??

Yes. When it comes to the $4 FL 5-card, the bubble is where i've been getting outsted..back to back days. Maybe it has something to do with me chewing on some Bubbalicious Bubble Gum, watching the movie Bubble Boy, while blowing bubbles.

$4 FL 5-card placed 20th of 156 (needed 18th)
$2 6-max- I finished 77th of 824 cashing for $4.12

Not much goin on for today. Check back tomorrow for some more PS action.

No Afternoon PS Action

I was up at Winstar today, so not getting any tournament action until tonight. Winstar was a success. I went from up $300 dollars, to up $3 dollars (Lost a monster pot, we both flopped a set.) To walking away up $620 dollars. Not to forget the epic race I had this morning (results posted tomorrow)

I'm starting off tonight with the $2-6max and the $4 FL 5-card

Poon of the day, what more can I say?

This guy was just your typical pokerstars idiot. His name was RiverRatMak, and his game was whack. I'm too lazy to post all of this idiot's hands (there were 4 in all that stood out), so I'll pick the poonest of the poon.

PokerStars Game #19576543262: Tournament #100867884, $1.00+$0.10 Razz Limit - Level III (40/80) - 2008/08/12 - 23:20:10 (ET)Table '100867884 10' 8-max
Seat 1: bigorrin (1369 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 2: RiverRatMak (1190 in chips)
Seat 3: montegreen81 (633 in chips)
Seat 4: soonerjim0 (1648 in chips)
Seat 5: bassboy2525 (2712 in chips)
Seat 6: steveb1971 (2236 in chips)
Seat 7: _the_panic_ (1023 in chips)
Seat 8: gimethatthat (1189 in chips)
*** 3rd STREET ***
Dealt to bigorrin [7s]
Dealt to RiverRatMak [5d]
Dealt to montegreen81 [9c]
Dealt to soonerjim0 [7h]
Dealt to bassboy2525 [9h]
Dealt to steveb1971 [Ts]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6h 6s 4d]
Dealt to gimethatthat [Qh]
gimethatthat: brings in for 12
bigorrin: folds
RiverRatMak: calls 12
montegreen81: folds
soonerjim0: calls 12
bassboy2525: folds
steveb1971: folds
_the_panic_: calls 12
*** 4th STREET ***
Dealt to RiverRatMak [5d] [Kh]
Dealt to soonerjim0 [7h] [Kc]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6h 6s 4d] [Ad]
Dealt to gimethatthat [Qh] [Jc]
_the_panic_: bets 40
gimethatthat: folds
RiverRatMak: calls 40
soonerjim0: folds

As you can see, I had 4A showing. Since everyone drew high cards, I was ready to bet strong this hand.

*** 5th STREET ***
Dealt to RiverRatMak [5d Kh] [6d]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6h 6s 4d Ad] [6c]
_the_panic_: bets 80
RiverRatMak: calls 80
*** 6th STREET ***
Dealt to RiverRatMak [5d Kh 6d] [Td]
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6h 6s 4d Ad 6c] [4h]
RiverRatMak: checks
_the_panic_: bets 80
RiverRatMak: calls 80

Obviously, with 46A showing, me betting the entire hand, and knowing he had at best a 10 low, you'd think the moron would fold. Ah, but this is pokerstars. Of course he doesn't fold.

*** RIVER ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6h 6s 4d Ad 6c 4h] [7d]
RiverRatMak: checks
_the_panic_: bets 80
RiverRatMak: calls 80
*** SHOW DOWN ***
_the_panic_: shows [6h 6s 4d Ad 6c 4h 7d] (Lo: 4,4,7,6,A)
RiverRatMak: shows [5c 2s 5d Kh 6d Td 2d] (Lo: K,T,6,5,2)
RiverRatMak collected 672 from pot

I didn't even look at my river card, knowing he was folding or I was losing. This genius calls with a King low and looks good for it. There's just no words to describe idiots like Mak.

I had the pleasure of receiving his gracious donations and knocking him out of the tournament. I was at 400 until his warm act of charity. I thank you, Poon of the Day. Too bad your gift didn't help me cash.

As always, the POTD gets his stats checked. Sure enough, this guy had weak stats. His 10% cash rate playing mostly penny tournaments really looked solid. Of his 21 cashes, only 5 were with buyins higher than 50c. And yet he still only cashes 10% of the time. Advice: QUIT.

Until tomorrow...

A losing day. Really.

I haven't had a losing day in quite a while. I started out good this morning, finally cashing one of those idiot 4 max tourneys. I got nothing going in the 3 buck holdem, bluffed my stack away in the 5 buck, and got screwed in the 1 buck fixed. Tonight I just did the 1 buck razz, which I also got screwed big time in. It was here where I found the clear-cut poon of the day. A 1 for 5 tourney day, but I also lost 15 bucks at the cash tables. Not good.

POTD coming up...

Chase's Patio!

How's it goin everyone. Welcome to another segment of Chase's Patio, where I speak my mind and think of random thoughts as I get away from the fish tank of the PS world.

Let's get away from talking poker for a minute and focus on a much more serious issue that has just come up, a mile race among fierce competitors. No, This is not the olympics people, this is a rivalry among the ages. Tomorrow at 9:30 AM ET, My 13 year old sister, My girlfriend, and the champ (myself, incase you people are slow) Will be racing for pride. The race is a little over a mile long, and anything but a victory is a failure.

THE CONS

My sister is 13 years old and runs a mile in about 7 minutes.

I'm a smoker

I never did do good in long distance, my best race was the 200 yd dash.

My GF will do everything in her power to make me lose.

THE PROS

I have the longer legs

I have a solid plan (heh)

I'm not a poon.


Yea, so the cons outweight the pros, but I have a plan. I need to get out off to a solid start in the race by taking the lead early. I'm not worried so much about my girlfriend only my sister. I need to take the solid lead early so by the midway mark I can set a long stride and let my long legs do some resting. When it comes down to the final 400 yards, which is a straight-away, my sister (i've seen her do it) is in full out sprint mode. I need to be even with her when it gets to this point. Most likely my lungs will be on fire and I will be out of gas, but I will be doing whatever it takes, pushing, shoving, elbowing, or maybe just knock her down so I can bring home the gold (Yes, my sister made two medals, one gold, one that has Poon written on it for last.) This is going to be a race for the ages and im bringing it home for AMERICA.

The results of this race will be posted on Thursday on the next "Chase's Patio" segment

Wish me luck poons.

Typical Ending in the $5

So far, I'm 1-2 in my night tournaments, with the $1 Razz in progress

$1 Razz- Another Typical bubble. Finished 22nd of 144. Needing 16th to cash, I fell short, again.

$4 FL 5-card--another bubble, got 32nd of 198 (needed 24th to cash)

$5 NLH-- 112th out of 1287 for a cash of $9.66

But here is my typical 3-outer ending

Seat 1: mamaree (9943 in chips)
Seat 2: lGotRivered (2706 in chips)
Seat 3: raiderthug20 (20075 in chips)
Seat 4: adam2208 (29900 in chips)
Seat 5: RauKitty (7487 in chips)
Seat 6: Shuri_Dragon (21602 in chips)
Seat 7: u21980 (3579 in chips)
Seat 8: hook 48 (15633 in chips)
Seat 9: igoturmoney0 (5783 in chips)
mamaree: posts the ante 75
lGotRivered: posts the ante 75
raiderthug20: posts the ante 75
adam2208: posts the ante 75
RauKitty: posts the ante 75
Shuri_Dragon: posts the ante 75
u21980: posts the ante 75
hook 48: posts the ante 75
igoturmoney0: posts the ante 75
RauKitty: posts small blind 400
Shuri_Dragon: posts big blind 800
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [As Qh]
u21980: folds
hook 48: folds
igoturmoney0: folds
mamaree: folds
adam2208 said, "thx"
lGotRivered: raises 1831 to 2631 and is all-in
raiderthug20: folds
adam2208: folds
RauKitty: raises 4781 to 7412 and is all-in
Shuri_Dragon: folds
Uncalled bet (4781) returned to RauKitty
*** FLOP *** [9h 4c Tc]
*** TURN *** [9h 4c Tc] [7c]
*** RIVER *** [9h 4c Tc 7c] [9d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
RauKitty: shows [Ad Th] (two pair, Tens and Nines)
lGotRivered: shows [As Qh] (a pair of Nines)
RauKitty collected 6737 from pot

No matter what I do, When I get all-in, Almost 90% of the time I'm a favorite or have a solid drawing hand that mathmatically puts me in the lead. A double up would of been nice, but of course, I don't hold.

Keep reading to see my finish in the razz and my personal favorite, My Patio.

New Series: You know what really "PS's" me off?

Everyday, I find myself saying something about the people on pokerstars or the site itself and how it pisses me off. Well, I figured I'd put my anger to good use. I have no set date for this segment, I'll just post whenever something annoys me. So, without further ado, here's the debut of "You know what really PS's me off?"


Idiots that get on the waiting list for a table when theres a bunch of other open ones out there really 'PS' me off.

I mean, seriously. Why are there 6 people on the line for one stud h/l table when they could just as easily fill a brand new table? Doesn't that make a lot more sense, you poons? Why wait 15 minutes for a seat to open when you can just start a new one in half the time? The lower you are on the waiting list, the dumber you are.

Right now I'm looking at the lobby and there are 6 full $1/2 stud tables. These 6 tables have a combined 17 players waiting. SEVENTEEN PLAYERS. That's enough to fill two whole tables, plus one. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT REALIZES THIS?

I can understand a big waiting list for a table with a pro at it. Everyone wants their crack at a well-known name. But at regular tables? That really PS's me off.

So sick, it had to be posted here.

This is Phil Hellmuth owning Mike Matusow. In case you didn't know, on this episode of high stakes poker, the players had a prop bet that if anyone won a hand with 2-7 offsuit, they pay 500 bucks to the winner. Enjoy it.

Another 2-Outer

So this afternoon has pretty much been like everyday since my chatban. Going 1-7 in afternoon tournaments. My lone cash being in the $2.5 tournament. I placed 257th out of 2188 for a whopping $4.92

Seat 1: $$lukkbox$$ (13454 in chips)
Seat 2: KEzyk1 (11280 in chips)
Seat 3: brich1978 (16200 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 4: Radia (11785 in chips)
Seat 5: lGotRivered (3186 in chips)
Seat 6: fredschek03 (4912 in chips)
Seat 7: DVC Ak1rA (17054 in chips)
Seat 8: Torwart2005 (5690 in chips)
Seat 9: *~Holak~* (3915 in chips)
$$lukkbox$$: posts the ante 50
KEzyk1: posts the ante 50
brich1978: posts the ante 50
Radia: posts the ante 50
lGotRivered: posts the ante 50
fredschek03: posts the ante 50
DVC Ak1rA: posts the ante 50
Torwart2005: posts the ante 50
*~Holak~*: posts the ante 50
Radia: posts small blind 300
lGotRivered: posts big blind 600
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [7s 7c]
fredschek03: raises 4262 to 4862 and is all-in
DVC Ak1rA: folds
Torwart2005: folds
*~Holak~*: folds
$$lukkbox$$: folds
KEzyk1: folds
brich1978: folds
Radia: folds
lGotRivered: calls 2536 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (1726) returned to fredschek03
*** FLOP *** [Qc 6s 2c]
*** TURN *** [Qc 6s 2c] [Jc]
*** RIVER *** [Qc 6s 2c Jc] [Jh]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
lGotRivered: shows [7s 7c] (two pair, Jacks and Sevens)
fredschek03: shows [6d 6c] (a full house, Sixes full of Jacks)
fredschek03 collected 7022 from pot

Even when I win/cash, I manage to get screwed. The br is skyrocketing downhill.

Check back tonight for My patio and other late night tournament results.

Another day, another final table.

I got home at about 930 tonight, just in time for the 4 buck 5 card. Let me tell you, I wish I would have gotten home a minute later. I got screwed so bad I didn't even make the first break. Out of 168 poons, I finished an embarrassing 151st. I did the 2 buck holdem at 11 and didn't fare much better there either. I misplayed two hands that cost me the tournament.

Finally, in a game I've only played twice before and have no cashes in, I played the 2 buck 2-7 triple draw. I was down early and spent much of the first hour trying to get even. I did and then some. By the time I realized I had a decent stack, it was hand for hand. I was in the middle of the pack for a while. One big hand probably cost me a few more bucks. Since I'm new to the game, I slowplayed 7,6,5,3,2 on the first draw, just smooth calling the table idiot's bet. Then after the second draw, I raised him right back. This was a mistake, I learned. He had a 8,7,5,3,2 and was standing pat and betting. Since I raised, he decided to drop his 8 and go for the nuts. Obviously, he hits it and costs me a few grand. If I didn't raise him back, I knock him out and take down a pot that sets up a top 3 finish. Ah well, inexperience, I guess.

I managed to finish 6th and record my 10th career final table. I had no expectations going in really, but I'll take it. I'm down a couple of bucks for the day, but at least I have a cash in another game on my resume.

I'm going to be waking up early for some tournaments so this blog will be running all day. Later poons.

"Donky?" (POTD Award)

Everyone, meet "leh1ens" From the minute this guy opened his mouth I could tell this guy didnt make it very far in the 2nd grade spelling bee. His spelling, like his play in this hand, is horrid.

Seat 1: poker4ever59 (1730 in chips)
Seat 2: dodibacsi (1600 in chips)
Seat 3: boss1811 (3010 in chips)
Seat 4: bobbyjames2 (1470 in chips)
Seat 5: lGotRivered (1470 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 6: Rebby2 (1340 in chips)
Seat 7: Wizzing (1450 in chips)
Seat 8: leH1ens (1400 in chips)
Seat 9: shortyyy83 (1500 in chips)
shortyyy83: posts small blind 10
poker4ever59: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
dodibacsi: folds
boss1811: calls 20
bobbyjames2: folds
lGotRivered: folds
Rebby2: folds
Wizzing: folds
leH1ens: raises 60 to 80
shortyyy83: folds
poker4ever59: folds
boss1811: calls 60
*** FLOP *** [4s Jd 5h]
boss1811: bets 60
leH1ens: calls 60
*** TURN *** [4s Jd 5h] [7h]
boss1811: bets 80
leH1ens: calls 80
*** RIVER *** [4s Jd 5h 7h] [Jh]
lGotRivered is connected
lGotRivered has returned
boss1811: bets 160
leH1ens: calls 160
*** SHOW DOWN ***
boss1811: shows [Tc 5c] (two pair, Jacks and Fives)
leH1ens: mucks hand
boss1811 collected 790 from pot
leH1ens said, "donky"

I have no idea what leh1ens mucked, but he could not beat a pair of 5s. The chat is what made this priceless.

leH1ens: donky
leH1ens: why call with 10/5 a raise???
boss1811: du loser
leH1ens: donky
Dealer: Game #19544354305: leH1ens wins pot (90)
leH1ens: soab
leH1ens: donky calls with 10/5
boss1811: lehrn erst poker
leH1ens: hahaha who calls with 10/5???
leH1ens: donky

If I had my chat privileges, I would be all up in this conversation, but instead I will speak my mind on the blog. leh1ens keeps calling "boss1811" a "donky" Yet Boss is the one doing all the betting on the flop,turn, and river. leh1ens calls $160 on the river with an apparent nothing and has the nerve to call boss a donkey after mucking Ace high, I assume. Yea, I agree, Boss1811 made a donk-preflop call. But leh1ens inability to spell a 2nd grade word and not fold his AK. Makes him our POTD, Congrats.

The "Chase's Patio" portion of the blog will be posted tomorrow night, I wonder what will cross my mind...

I Can't Cash A Hold'em Tournament

No matter what I do. Regardless, I've been losing.

$4-180. My AK loses to KJ preflop
$2 NLH- JJ loses to KK
$1 NLH (comical hand below)

Seat 1: nickbizzo (1480 in chips)
Seat 2: matythafatty (1440 in chips)
Seat 3: The Pint (1420 in chips)
Seat 4: chrigu65natu (1560 in chips)
Seat 5: lGotRivered (1500 in chips)
Seat 6: SlickMekanic (1340 in chips)
Seat 7: grammyjan (1800 in chips)
Seat 8: flocko111 (1500 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 9: designatl (1460 in chips)
chrigu65natu: posts small blind 10
lGotRivered: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lGotRivered [Ad Ac]
SlickMekanic: folds
grammyjan: calls 20
flocko111: folds
designatl: folds
nickbizzo: calls 20
matythafatty: folds
The Pint: raises 40 to 60
chrigu65natu: calls 50
lGotRivered: raises 280 to 340
grammyjan: calls 320
nickbizzo: folds
nickbizzo is sitting out
The Pint: calls 280
chrigu65natu: folds
*** FLOP *** [5h 8s 7d]
lGotRivered: bets 1160 and is all-in
grammyjan: calls 1160
The Pint: calls 1080 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [5h 8s 7d] [Jh]
*** RIVER *** [5h 8s 7d Jh] [6s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
lGotRivered: shows [Ad Ac] (a pair of Aces)
grammyjan: shows [Td Ts] (a pair of Tens)
lGotRivered collected 160 from side pot
The Pint: shows [Qh 9h] (a straight, Five to Nine)
The Pint collected 4340 from main pot

The sad part is, "The Pint" insta-called with that gutshot.

$11 buck-30k guarantee. Got runner runnered after flopping a set with pocket Kings.

BUT WAIT!? Something positive happened!!

$4 fl-5card- 16th out of 168 for a CASH of $10.08.

Pete and I will be up early for the tournaments. Stay tuned for the POTD Award

Snap The Streak

Since the ChatBan I've been 0-12 in tournaments. Pretty pathetic. Doing the $1 buck tournament as we speak. I will be playing all night, trying to boost the br back to respect. It occured to me yesterday, I have been banned previously from chatting do to my loud mouth and everytime I get banned, My br takes a huge tumble downhill. Hopefully I can turn things around.

Top 5 IDs of the Week

Here are the best names of the week. Enjoy.

5. HemorrhoidSx - Ouch, that must hurt.

4. Noob_Forever - This one makes the list because his image matched the name perfectly -- IntelliPoker

3. PornoFreak - Hey, at least he ain't ashamed of it.

2. Brett Favre - Seriously, the guy's ID was "Brett Favre." And after all the soap opera bs with the new Jets QB, it was pretty ironic.

And the best ID of the week:

#1: ChAtBan - The same day Chase nets himself a 6 month chat ban, we see this simple ID at the tables. Bonus points for the grim reaper image. Really puts it into perspective.

This isn't an official thing, but I couldn't resist; lamest ID of the week goes to "ManInTheHat." Doesn't get weaker than that.

Night poons.

Solid day.

Added another final table to my resume today. My day started out like garbage. I lost to 2 two outers and a runner straight in my first 4 games. I had a couple of league games, and did the 2 buck 4 max at 815 as well as the 1 buck stud h/l at 845. Chase talked me into the 4 buck 5 card, and I placed 5th for a $39.60 payout. I was going good in stud but got pooned as always.

I've been having some good luck at the $.50/1 stud h/l tables. Made about 25 bucks in the last two days at them.

Not much poonage today. I'll have the ID's of the week up in a bit.

"Coincedently" Losing Everything

Yea. I'm used to getting sucked out. I'm used to seeing donks. But since my chat-ban I'm 0-12 in tournaments. No matter if im ahead, I lose. If i'm behind, I lose. It was just amusing, in the $1 horse tournament, I was all in during the stud h/l part, short stacked with 1800. I managed going into the river with two pair and a low draw...and what happens? The dude to my right who has nothing but a low draw/gutshot, rivers the wheel. Conspiracy? I'm seriously starting to think something fishy is going on because this bullsh*t is amusing me to say the least. No matter what happens, how I play the hand, I lose.

Not playing tomorrow until 4ish. Hopefully jokerstars won't notice I'm on.

Poon of the day.

I'm too pissed off to write anything about this idiot, but he's the clear cut poon of the day. Read his hands and laugh. Oh, and by the way, he's 1 for 11 in tournaments, and his only cash was a satellite. What a poon.


Idiot pooning chase:

PokerStars Game #19497765752: Tournament #101200665, $6.00+$0.50 5 Card Draw Pot Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2008/08/09 - 23:27:29 (ET)Table '101200665 1' 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: swifty151 (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: _the_panic_ (1490 in chips)
Seat 3: ppistol40 (1530 in chips)
Seat 4: lGotRivered (1500 in chips)
Seat 5: Grower 60 (1500 in chips)
Seat 6: donatelo_99 (1480 in chips)
ppistol40: posts small blind 10
lGotRivered: posts big blind 20
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [Ad 7s 3h 5c 4d]
Grower 60: folds
donatelo_99: folds
swifty151: folds
_the_panic_: folds
ppistol40: raises 40 to 60
lGotRivered: calls 40
ppistol40: discards 4 cards
lGotRivered: discards 3 cards
ppistol40: bets 120
lGotRivered: calls 120
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ppistol40: shows [Kd Qs Ac Ts Jc] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
lGotRivered: mucks hand
ppistol40 collected 360 from pot


Idiot getting lucky again:

PokerStars Game #19497778456: Tournament #101200665, $6.00+$0.50 5 Card Draw Pot Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2008/08/09 - 23:28:11 (ET)Table '101200665 1' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: swifty151 (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: _the_panic_ (1490 in chips)
Seat 3: ppistol40 (1710 in chips)
Seat 4: lGotRivered (1320 in chips)
Seat 5: Grower 60 (1500 in chips)
Seat 6: donatelo_99 (1480 in chips)
lGotRivered: posts small blind 10
Grower 60: posts big blind 20
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [8c Jh Kh 5d 6h]
_the_panic_ said, "rofl"
donatelo_99: folds
swifty151: raises 20 to 40
_the_panic_: folds
ppistol40: raises 110 to 150
_the_panic_ said, "didnt take long to find out who the table idiot is"
lGotRivered: folds
Grower 60: folds
swifty151: calls 110
swifty151: discards 2 cards
ppistol40: discards 1 card
swifty151: checks
ppistol40: bets 330
swifty151: calls 330
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ppistol40: shows [4c Ac 5c 2c 6c] (a flush, Ace high)
swifty151: mucks hand
ppistol40 collected 990 from pot

And finally, idiot getting ousted:

PokerStars Game #19497986625: Tournament #101200665, $6.00+$0.50 5 Card Draw Pot Limit - Level III (25/50) - 2008/08/09 - 23:39:30 (ET)Table '101200665 1' 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: swifty151 (2045 in chips)
Seat 2: _the_panic_ (2005 in chips)
Seat 3: ppistol40 (940 in chips)
Seat 4: lGotRivered (1465 in chips)
Seat 5: Grower 60 (1085 in chips)
Seat 6: donatelo_99 (1460 in chips)
swifty151: posts the ante 5
_the_panic_: posts the ante 5
ppistol40: posts the ante 5
lGotRivered: posts the ante 5
Grower 60: posts the ante 5
donatelo_99: posts the ante 5
Grower 60: posts small blind 25
donatelo_99: posts big blind 50
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [7c 9c 8s 5s 4d]
swifty151: raises 100 to 150
_the_panic_: folds
ppistol40 is disconnected
ppistol40 is connected
Grower 60 said, "self destructed"
ppistol40: calls 150
lGotRivered: folds
Grower 60: folds
donatelo_99: calls 100
donatelo_99: discards 1 card
swifty151: stands pat
ppistol40: discards 3 cards
donatelo_99: checks
swifty151: bets 505
ppistol40: raises 280 to 785 and is all-in
donatelo_99: folds
swifty151: calls 280
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ppistol40: shows [Qh Qc Ts Qs 2c] (three of a kind, Queens)
swifty151: shows [Ad 2d Td Kd 5d] (a flush, Ace high)
swifty151 collected 2075 from pot

Another down-20-buck day. Good preparation for Poon-day Sunday.

P.S.- If you're a poon, go f*ck yourself.

Conspiracy?? (ChatBan Info)

To Catch you up from last night. Last night I did a $6-45 person sng last night to kill time. I got in a heated one-sided arguement with a guy with the name of Shalom (not real id but you should get the argument from the name.) The argument lasted all tournament and he turned me into pokerstars chat. I received an e-mail with a list of things I said violating the chat policy, which i've done quite often, and the end result is I can't chat til 2009. But my problem here is, since the ban, i've been getting torahed, yes i've not learned my lesson fromt the ban, every way possible in the tournaments.

$2-4max- lost HU, 99 vs J10-riv J
$2 tournament- started off strong, then my KK loses to AJ
$5 tournament- bubbled by 30 people, short stacked, 10s ran into KK
$4 fixed 5-card- I raise short stacked and the table idiot reraises with a pair and pulls a higher two pair.

$2 tournament-I shoved short stack with low pair.

Board: 4 7 A

My 45 suited vs k7

turn: 5

riv-A

Conspiracy?

Now my question, coincedence or conspiracy? I just have the feeling I might end up broke before my chat ban is over.

I'm out of town and playing and Pete is in a bad mood so don't expect much action in the tournaments until tomorrow night.

Another Final Table--Short of 8th Win

A decent tournament afternoon. I went 2-5 in tournaments, getting my 44th final table. I finished 3rd out of 306 in the PL Hold'em, paying me $32.90. I also cashed the $3 tournament, nothing that impressive. My AQ lost to 10 2 suited..standard. Finished 199th out of 1450 people, it paid $5.32.

Just going to be playing cash tables and sngs with Pete. We both have plans for tonight; however, I will be back on late tonight to play some more tournaments.

Til tonight..later poons.

Good Morning Poker World and Did You Miss my absence?

Yea, If you read our blog yesterday, I didn't have a single post. I got about 3 hours of sleep the night before and spent almost all of my day playing at the $1/$2 cash tables at Winstar. It was a success, I walked away up $325 dollars so I was pleased.

Not sure how much tournaments I will be playing, since I have plans this evening.

But I'm starting out with the $2-4max (which I'm sure i'll get pooned out of like I typically have been) and the $1 PL Hold'em

Evening roundup.

No poon of the day award today. Chase hit up the casino and won about 350 bucks. I got off to a horrible start, but ended it the right way.

I first did the 1 buck at 6 and did absolutely nothing. I was at a .50/1 fixed 5 card table at the same time and left down 6 dollars. I was so pissed and tired I took a nap and woke up just in time to register the 1 buck stud h/l. More on that later.

I got nothing going in the 4 buck fixed at 930 and had an embarrassing 162nd finish out of 192.

Me and Chase both did the 3 buck triple shootout. I got 3 handed with all stacks about equal. I flopped a guthsot straight flush draw and the guy bet out. I shoved, putting him on air and having a big drawing hand. Naturally, he just has top pair and I don't improve.

I was, however, dominating the stud h/l. I took the chip lead with about 75 people left. 40 cashed, and I was still top 2 all the way until there were about 24 left. I regained the lead with 16 left and rode that momentum to my 8th career final table. Idiots didn't know how to check down when someone was all in, so I wound up losing quite a bit in those scenarios. In one instance, I had trip 7s and kept checking, but the moron to my left kept betting into me. Obviously, he rivers trip 8s and the all in player stayed alive. I got all in with JJ66, and got called by a pair of K. As always, he pairs his cards on the river, and I get ousted in 5th. It paid $18.54, which negated all the losing I did earlier in the night. Still waiting for that first win.

Not sure of our tourney schedule for tomorrow. Check back.

Solid Tournament Day--When It Comes to Cashing

4-10 is a pretty solid day. Nothing to big though. I'm still alive in the $2 11 pm et. and we are down to 39 people so I will keep you updated.

44th/1640 for a cash of $12.31 in the $3 tournament.
unknown/alot for some sort of change cash in the $.25 poon-off (did that for tlbs)
42nd/384 in the $1 HORSE for a whopping $1.65.

In Progress 25th/1485 for a cash of $10.40 in the $2 tournament.

Tomorrow will be an all-day Winstar affair. Battling off poons and food service all afternoon long.

Night Poons.

POTD: Clicking outside the box.

Our poon of the day for August 7th misclicked his way into super poon-dom.

His name was Battaglia123 and this donk benefited me. Battaglia had just under 4000 chips in today's 3 buck tourney when I got dealt JA offsuit. I called a 3x raise in late position after 3 limps and flopped top pair (A 2 4, rainbow). Battaglia bets out 150 and I just smooth call. The turn is a J, and the moron bets out 500. I have 1600 chips left so I went all in. He insta calls, and I get worried that he might have the wheel. What does he show? 2 King offsuit. The poon called 100 from the big blind with 2K offsuit, and then bet his bottom pair aggressively. Then, he threw this excuse out there:

_the_panic_ said, "appreciate the charity"
Battaglia123 said, "that was the wrong button :("

Yeah, so a few hands later, I beat him on this hand too. Notice how he calls the river with K high.

PokerStars Game #19405565247: Tournament #99188128, $3.00+$0.30 Hold'em No Limit - Level III (25/50) - 2008/08/06 - 12:39:12 (ET)Table '99188128 160' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Carlo501do (2920 in chips)
Seat 2: mäuschen111 (2220 in chips)
Seat 3: kamilios (2720 in chips)
Seat 4: I3aI2k (4710 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: letswinsom (2085 in chips)
Seat 6: _the_panic_ (4205 in chips)
Seat 7: Zecke113 (1690 in chips)
Seat 8: Battaglia123 (845 in chips)
Seat 9: garais1234 (3030 in chips)
letswinsom: posts small blind 25
_the_panic_: posts big blind 50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to _the_panic_ [6d Jh]
Zecke113: folds
Battaglia123: calls 50
garais1234: folds
Carlo501do has timed out
Carlo501do: folds
Carlo501do is sitting out
mäuschen111: folds
kamilios: folds
I3aI2k: folds
letswinsom: folds
_the_panic_: checks
*** FLOP *** [8s 6s 7c]
I3aI2k has returned
_the_panic_: checks
Battaglia123: bets 50
_the_panic_: calls 50
*** TURN *** [8s 6s 7c] [8d]
_the_panic_: checks
Battaglia123: checks
*** RIVER *** [8s 6s 7c 8d] [Ah]
_the_panic_: bets 150
Battaglia123: calls 150
*** SHOW DOWN ***
_the_panic_: shows [6d Jh] (two pair, Eights and Sixes)
Battaglia123: mucks hand
_the_panic_ collected 525 from pot

Seat 8: Battaglia123 mucked [Ts Ks]

Did you click the wrong button there too, you poon? You misclicked twice in one hand? Let me tell you something; your biggest misclick was hitting the "register" button before the tourney even started. Despite all the intellipoker idiots this morning, this guy takes the cake.

Here's the poon's (lack of) stats round-up:

In 15 career tournaments, Battaglia has a respectable cash rate of 0.00% with $0.00 in career earnings. Keep trying pal. One day, you'll misclick your way to a cash...


Chase is hitting up the casino tomorrow and I'm going to be out pretty much all day. Might do some late night tourneying, but don't expect much here tomorrow. Later poons.

Rant: F.P.S.

I'm cruising in the 3 buck, at the same table as chase. I limp in with 9 10 suited in mid position, there's about 5-6 people going to the flop. I get a club draw. Nobody bets. The turn is a club. The moron who's first to act overbets the pot to 6600, which had me covered. I call, and he flips over Q6 clubs. The friggin moron limped utg w/ q6 suited. Strike 1.

I'm dominating in the 2 buck PLO8. I have a stack of about 20k. I lost 9k on back to back hands, but I picked up 5678 with two hearts. The table idiot raised pot as always, and I called. The flop was 3 4 9 with two hearts. He insta-puts me all in and I call, knowing I can hit any heart, 2, 5, 6, 7, or 8 to make my hand. Thats 22 outs I had with two cards to go. The moron flops over a pair of aces, with no draws. The turn is a 10 of clubs and the river is the K. 82% friggin chance to win and I lose to an idiot who shouldn't have even been in the hand. Strike 2.

Finally, in the 1 buck fixed 5 card, which I seem to make a run in on a daily basis, I have about 27K and get a gutshot straight flush draw utg. I just limped, and 3 people drew. I pulled a 7 high straight, and the first player bet out (stakes were 2000/4000) I raised it to 8k, and the dude to my left who also dropped 1 reraised. Of course, I knew I was beat but I couldnt fold, and he of course drew a boat. Then I get all in the next hand with AA in the big blind. the button raised me, so I just called. Naturally, he pulls a set of Jacks when I pull two pair, and just like that I get ousted. Strike friggin' 3.

The intellipoons are swarming today, and the American idiots are also out in full force. Be careful, one might bite you in the backside too.

Solid $3 buck finish

Pete and I both placed in the $3 buck tournament at noon et.

Pete: 162nd out of 1640 and in the money
Me: finished 44th out of 1640 people and cashed for $12.31

Not a bad start to the day. However, if you read Pete's post below. Pokerstars is getting invaded by the Intellipoker poons. I have still yet to see one decent player from that site.

Intell-invasion.

These intellipoker idiots are friggin everywhere! I have 4 at my 3 buck table. Chase has 2. What's funny about this army of a-holes is that NOT ONE is a solid poker player. You think one of the bigger poker communities would teach you something about the game. Bunch of poons. Intellipoons.

Me and Chase are in the 3 buck at 12, and we're going to be doing the 5 buck, 15K guaranteed at 1. I might be doing either the 2 buck PLO8 or the 2 buck turbo. Prepared to get pooned.

Chase's Patio #1--The Debut

Welcome everyone. To my Patio. It's the place I love to break inbetween tournaments, kick back and just think of all the poons I would love to strangle after their smartass comments after even worse play.



After a long run in the $4 fixed limit 5-card. I went outside, to my chair ^ seen above. I was so pissed off, how bad our POTD could play and what is worse, win. I'm sittin back on the patio, smokin a stogey, and I go into deep thought about poons. I was seriously doing a play-by-play scenario in my head. If I met one of the asshole/idiots that donked me out online, then had the nerve to call me a donk after shoving all-in on a gutshot, I would seriously consider which way would be the best way to torture a moron. It would be different for every race. Black guys, I would strangle them by shoving KFC Chicken Wings down their throat. Asian guys, I would turn on the song "I can see clearly now the rain is gone." Mexican guys, I would call immigration. Finally, White guys, I would just beat their asses in.

Some might say I have alot of anger built up. Its not that at all, I'm a nice guy, very laid back and easy to get along with, I just hate assholes and horrible poker players who think they are good.

My patio segments will be every tuesday and thursday night.

G'night poons

Another losing day, and it ain't over yet.

I didn't play many tournaments today. I did the 1 buck fixed at 230PM and got 15th. I was primed for a deep run but my 99QQ got outdrawn by a dude who called my raise with AA. I moved all in for 6900 with 444, and another guy hit his flush. Nothing I could do.

I didn't have much time to play at night, so I did a 6 buck heads up turbo and got matched vs a complete donkey. Every hand was raised, and I got sick of it. I finally just moved all in with 4s after he reraised me, and of course he has 5s. I battled back from 140 chips to 1100, but I went for one more kill shot with A4 and he had 7s and held. Damn idiot had the balls to call me a donk.

Then I did one of those 5 buck heads up 16 players and got 4th. I was feeling confident and got KK a few hands in. My opponent was a calling station so I popped it 3x the bb to 240. He shoves his 6k+ stack and I called, of course. He had QA offsuit like a donk and naturally hits the three outer on the flop. What can I do.

I'm probably going to do some hold'em tables or 5 card sit n go's the rest of the night. I'm also considering the 3 buck turbo tourney, 5 buck turbo, and 5 buck razz tourney. Well see what I do.

POTD Award #8

A Stupid Screen Name With An Even Worse Style of Play.

Meet LACR. First off, what in the hell does that stand for?

Only one thing I can think of

Losing
Asshole
Cripples
Really Good Players

I'll start off this segment with this players "fantastic" stats. LACR has put up an impressive 19-544 (cashes/tournaments ratio) for an even more impressive 3.5% cash rate. I'm impressed by this, LACR has managed to beat on average less then 2/3 of the field; 68/100 on average. Those other 32 need to be discovered for this segment, but all in all, his stats don't surprise me.

I got the privilege to meet this poon deep in the $4 fixed limit 5-card tournament. I came to his table leading the pack with 20 left. From the minute I sat down this poon was raising LITERALLY every single hand. At the beginning I was giving him respect. But after awhile, he was raising, dropping 3 cards, and being called down with 4s/5s etc. A big hand cost me when I was dealt an open-ended Royal Flush Draw, I had KQJ10 of spades. Donk raises utg with AA, I called it (blinds 2k/4k--had about24k in chips) A shorter stack, re-raised, followed by a re-raise to the max by poon-LACR. I called both, pricing me in for 2/3 my stack with an awesome drawing hand and to my amazement, LACR drops 3--After raising the max. That moron cost me my chip stack, as I missed my draw. LACR donated to a set of 9s.

My losing hand to the moron was shown below on my lower post. I limped utg with Jacks, waiting for that idiot to raise with any hand he had..which he did. He raised, I re-raised and he just called. I was left with 4k. To my amazement, he dropped 4, indicating he doesnt have a pair and calls 8k. Shockingly, he bet out, I had to call and I didnt improve. He picked up a pair of kings. Thanks moron. I finished that tournament in 7th. LACR was in 3rd after that hand, He got out in 6th, no big surprise.

We here at The 2 Outer proudly give our Award to LACR, like the acronym says, he is just another poon busting out good players.

Another Rough Day/Ending but the BR Goes Up

Man. Not playing up to my 22% cash rate in tournaments. I went 1-9 with a final table (7th)

Three different times today a moron shoved when the blinds were low/medium
i.e: 15/30 and 100/200

Both $1 buck tournaments a different moron shoves all-in with about 4k. Each time I was around 2k and picked up JJ and QQ. Now in a $1 tournament, I dont give much respect, those tournaments are normally for morons who don't have much money and play like they could careless. I do those mainly for tlb points (Tournament Leaderboard Points)

Both times, I made the call. Both times, I ran into KK...and I'm not lucky enough to hit a 2-outer.

The final time game in my last registered tournament. I was about 200 from the cash in the $2 buck tournament at 11 pm et. Had QQ in the sb. One limper mid position and the button shoves 5k. The blinds were 100/200. Now with only 16 bb left and needing a double. It was an easy decision. I didnt think without a preflop raise he would shove and waste a monster..I was wrong

My QQ ran into AA. Three times tonight I picked up a monster against a donk. Where is my 2-outer?

Sadly, back-to-back nights I finished 257th in the $5 buck tournament at 9 pm et. I was 14 away from the cash but really low in chips (2000ish) I picked up KK otb and knew my fate. There was two limps before me, so I shoved. The blinds folded as did the first limper. Another solid call for almost half his chips calls with AJ off suit. The flop was solid, with two spades, but like my typical luck, he went runner-runner for the flush..ousting me yet again 14 from the cash.

My final table tournament came in the $4 fixed limit 5-card draw (where you will meet our POTD) Where I finished 7th of 162, paying me $14.58, and notching my 43rd final table. My losing hand is below

Table '99188043 3' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 2: 69eyeman69 (75690 in chips)
Seat 4: LACR (22900 in chips)
Seat 6: lGotRivered (16980 in chips)
69eyeman69: posts small blind 2000
LACR: posts big blind 4000
*** DEALING HANDS ***
lGotRivered: calls 4000
69eyeman69: folds
LACR: raises 4000 to 8000
lGotRivered: raises 4000 to 12000
LACR: calls 4000
LACR: discards 4 cards
lGotRivered: discards 3 cards
LACR: bets 8000
lGotRivered: calls 4980 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (3020) returned to LACR
*** SHOW DOWN ***LACR: shows [Kh 9d Kd 2c As] (a pair of Kings)
lGotRivered: shows [Js Ac Td Jc 5d] (a pair of Jacks)
LACR collected 35960 from pot

Now you wonder why I played so loosely there, as you can see this guy was a moron, and I will explain more in our POTD Award segment..I wonder who it is going to be?